Post 35: Beautiful Things

Here we are, heading into the second week of school.

First off, let me say that I love my job :)  There is something about having my own class that I get to spend a whole semester with that really changes things.  And it is fun because I have been at this school for a year now, so the students know me.  Monday on my way back from the photocopier I stopped by one grade 12 girl who was at a computer.  She goes to our church, so I just asked her what she was up to.  This very quiet and shy young woman just started talking to me about her thoughts and plans for the future.

It was exciting.

And it was a reminder for me of why I got into this whole teaching gig.

I want children and youth to know that someone cares about them.  I love getting to teach and use pop culture to help explain things like plot, conflict, and characterization (or stories about my death to show point of view).  But I really love getting to be a part of my kids' lives.  To show them Jesus as best as I can.  And to let them know that they are valued and cared for.  (And typically when they feel this way, they tend to work a bit harder on their assignments... go figure).

So even though I'm only two days into the second week, it has been two days of feeling like I'm truly walking in my calling.

And that is a good place to be in.

I had a conversation with one of my close friends last night, and right now I find myself mulling over a question she asked me.

She said, "What's been on your mind lately?"

First off, I always get scared when I feel like people are asking me "deep" questions.  I have always been convinced that my answers will fall short of their needed "depth."  But I answered her honestly.

Lately I have been thinking that I feel like I am starting to belong.  That this is becoming home for me.  Both Jordan and I have talked a few times that the last year has been an interesting one.  It many ways it has felt like both of us have had to start all over again.  And in the last month or so it has felt like we have been making connections.  We had friends over for dinner and games a couple of weeks ago.  We got invited to their place.  I had some friends over for wine and croquettes last week.  Jordan has become a deacon at church, and there is talk of seeing if I will replace one of our friends who is moving away on the church's Fellowship Committee.

My job is only part time, but I definitely feel as if I am connecting more with the staff this year.  I was sent home sick from our Grade 9 Day on Friday (and spent most of the weekend in bed sleeping and watching Downton Abbey), and on Monday and Tuesday I had so many of my co-workers ask me how I was feeling and checking in on me.

With being in school I have spent the last seven or so years in transition.  It feels really good to set down roots and now to begin to see something springing  up from those roots.

Which makes me think of a song we sang at one of our PD Days at the beginning of September.  It was the song "Beautiful Things."  I want to share it with you.

All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Oh, you make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
Making me new

Now I look at this song and I think of the journey I have been on.  And I look at how through all of the pain, the joy, the insecurity, the uncertainty, and the laughter, God has been making something beautiful.  Something good.  Something that is (albeit slowly) trying to become more like Him.

And then I thought about the two women on either side of me who were singing with me.  To my right was a woman who had just announced to the staff that she was pregnant with her first child. This teacher was one of those who has always tried to make me feel welcome, and it was infectious to watch her joy.

On my left was a woman who is infertile.  After trying a vast assortment of treatments for several years, her and her husband had to make the decision to stop.  This woman has gone out of her way to talk to me.  To befriend me.  She has been somebody who has vented to me and who will let me vent to her. She has offered advice when I needed it on a variety of those topics.

And both women were beautiful.  Each has had their own journeys.  Their own hurts, triumphs, defeats, and joys.  And despite their different journeys, God has used them both to impact others.  Despite what they have gone through, they have allowed God to make them into something beautiful.  Something good.  Something more like Him.

I feel like I could just go on.  I have been reading some Tim Keller and listening to some Matt Chandler and at this moment in time I feel like I could burst with all the thoughts that are going on inside of me. But I'm going to leave it at that.

Sometimes the ugly and unthinkable happen.  But I believe that my God does make good things out of that.  That through the ugly and unthinkable, He makes us greater image bearers of Himself.  That He makes us more like Him.

That He makes us beautiful.