I'm not going to lie. There is a part of me that is very nervous to do this. This is not the first blog I have ever written, and perhaps that is what makes me so nervous!
You see, the first blog I wrote I started almost three and a half years ago. And it detailed my adventures as a single, Christian woman in her mid-twenties. Specifically a single, Christian woman in her mid-twenties who lived in northern communities where the average woman of such a description was married by twenty-two. For a year that blog was somewhat of a lifeline for me. God took me on an incredible journey by showing me that my identity was not wrapped up in whether I was single or not. But that it was defined by Him. It was one of the hardest years of my life, but God grew me and stretched me. And after just over a year of writing this blog, He also brought a new adventure into my life. He brought the man who is now my husband.
For the next year I tried to keep up with the blog and even gave it a bit of a face lift. But between my last year of school and practicum, it just didn't really amount to much. The year after that I had a job teaching and created a whole new blog. And again, life took over the it piddled out.
But the fact is I love to write. And with getting married I moved across the country away from my immediate family and my friends. So one purpose in starting up again is to use this as an avenue to keep people updated on life.
But this blog will also (hopefully) serve another purpose. One of the ways that I tend to grow and develop spiritually is by writing about what I am reading or experiencing. I cannot count the number of times that I have started a past blog post and what began as a musing turned into a revelation. God tends to use my writing to help me maintain my sanity. And so I am writing for my own spiritual growth with the hope that maybe others can be challenged as well.
So after that horribly long introduction, here it goes!
I am a teacher who has moved across the country and gotten married in the course of one summer. The downside to this is that I have moved to a place where it is incredibly difficult to find teaching jobs. Thus the past week has been spent calling around to different schools inquiring about being a supply teacher. I have had some responses, and one was very positive, so here's hoping that this materializes into a job :)
For the most part I think I am settling into my role as a housewife relatively smoothly. Once my hubby leaves for work I go for a run, do some sort of cleaning throughout the day, run errands, write thank you cards until my hand cramps up, and look for work. And cuddle with our cat. See, my husband has a cat. His name is Mortimer. At this moment in time, Mortimer is sprawled across my stomach as a write, with my left armed pinned under him (not the most comfortable position for typing, but c'est la vie). He has taken somewhat of a liking to me and tends to follow me around from room to room throughout the day. The moment I sit he claims my lap as his own.
I want to focus in on today's run. I used to listen to music while I ran, but in the last few months have started listening to podcasts instead. I don't run for long (just 20-25 minute), so it usually takes me about two runs to get through one sermon. My favourite pastors are Matt Chandler and Tim Keller (find them on iTunes and listen to them). Today I was listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler on the generosity of God.
Anyone who knows me well knows that I tend to get scared off when people start talking about God's generosity. In my experience, this leads to comments like "God wants to prosper you" which is usually followed by "Follow God and He will bless you." Which doesn't sound so bad except our idea of God blessing us usually means we expect a financial blessing. I have heard enough of the prosperity gospel that I tend to shut down when something even remotely sounds like it.
Chandler wasn't going in that direction though. In the first half of his message he describes for us just how "rich" God is (He is the creator... all that we see belongs to Him). Chander "poetically" describes how God created the glands in our mouths that produce saliva. He created the muscles in our mouths that allow for us to spit. When soldiers spit and mocked Christ in the time leading up to His crucifixion, they could only do so because God had given them the ability to do so.
Then he goes on to describe that it is only through God's generosity that we are able to come to Him. Nothing we do makes us worthy of His grace and forgiveness. This next point is the one that really stuck with me:
Our trying to make ourselves worthy of Christ doesn't impede His generosity. But it robs us of the joy that comes from receiving the gift He so generously wants to bestow upon us.
How many times have I felt miserable in my walk with God because I am continually aware of my failings. How many times have I wanted to simply give up because nothing I can do is good enough? How many times have people witnessed Christians and thought them to be unhappy, sour-faced, miserable people?
Are we fallen? Yes. Is our righteousness like filthy rags? Yes. Should we stop trying to live godly lives? No.
The generosity of God does not give us a free pass to live as we please. James addresses this when he talks about our faith needing works. But our works do not earn us God's grace. That is something he freely gives to us.
And in that, we should rejoice.
Thank you :-)
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