This week has felt like a different one than usual. I worked and tutored, but Husband was out of town for three days and two nights doing sales, so it was definitely strange adjusting to having him gone. I feel like a wimp for hating the absence. After all, we did two years of long distance so two nights should be nothing, right?
Wrong. I'm apparently the world's biggest suck!
Thanks to how my supply work worked out this week, I got to return to running four days a week, which feels fantastic. Add to that a slightly more energetic two hours of volleyball on Wednesday night and my body is telling me it is happy. But also a tad bit on the tired side.
This morning when I went for my run I actually had to stop and take in the view. The street I was on was littered with leaves, the trees lining said street still had some leaves, and the sun was casting its early morning, golden hue on the world. It was stunning. I returned home to look at the pictures I had taken of it with my phone and all I could think was, "Well done, Lord." I can't help but have my breath taken away by the artistry of His hands.
Now if only He had gifted me with a little more of that artistry :)
This has been a week full of all kinds of thoughts and I'm not sure which one to touch on. So maybe I will mention them all and you can take from that what you will.
On Sunday, Husband and I were reading out of Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage book. I read it a few years ago as a single person and it is an incredible read, no matter what stage of life you are in. My blog at that time, "Annals of a Christian Single" is full of posts centered around what he had to say. But the portion we read about over the weekend really got me thinking. It had to do with the idea of selfishness. With us wanting our way no matter the expense. With not thinking about what your partner needs because you are only looking out for yourself.
I know I am guilty of this, but what really struck me is how this applies to more than just our marriage relationships. Think of our friendships. Of parents and children. Of co-workers.
We live in a culture that tells us to only look out for ourselves. That no one else is looking out for you, so take care of your wants and needs above all else.
Contrast this with the image of Jesus laying down His life. With the idea of denying ourselves if we want to follow Him.
All of this is swirling around in my head when we get to church and our assistant pastor speaks about love. Several weeks back we heard another sermon about choosing to love.
I'm married and have only been married for not quite four months. I'm going to be honest--it is really easy to love my husband. He's incredible.
But what about those students that really get on your nerves? Or when you're out for a run and a guy decides he doesn't want to stop at the stop sign but wants to keep on driving, hoping you'll avoid him?
What about my compassion for others?
I have been really disappointed in myself lately. I've noticed that my patience seems to be slipping at times, specifically when I'm driving. I know this sounds silly, and some of you may brush this off and roll your eyes at me, but it is true. I get really frustrated with other vehicles (whether I'm driving or running or walking). My first reaction to call out what they are doing that is annoying me (either to myself, to God, or to Husband).
And I don't like myself when I get like that. I honestly don't believe that that is me modelling Christ's love.
In a podcast this week, Keller was talking about Truth and Love, and how God possesses both and gives us the right amount of each when we need it. When I was younger, I was all love. You could walk all over me and I would smile (and then go home, lock myself in my bedroom, and cry). If someone was crying, I would start crying. If someone needed a hug, I was there to hug them. One of my best friends was all truth and we used to joke that together we made the perfect person.
At times I feel like I have completely jumped to the other side now.
I want to love others. I want to show God's truth, but I also want to show His love. I want to be what is needed when it is needed.
So there are my thoughts from this weekend. Now I'm going to go curl my hair and continue to ponder them.
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