It has been a pretty crazy two and a half weeks since I wrote my last post. On Christmas Even we flew out West and got to spend four very fun (and also very quick) days with my family. There were games, movies, walks, runs, more food that you could imagine (hence the walks and runs), and FaceTime moments (my one brother and his wife were unable to make it). I think my husband enjoyed seeing where I get some of my quirks from. Like my, "What's that? We have a couple coming over? I better make enough appetizers for four or five couples... or more!" I am my mother's daughter, that much was definitely established over Christmas :) And that is alright with me!
We took a red-eye flight back home and before you knew it it was New Years. We spent this holiday with Jordan's family (I do so love extended Christmases). There was more food (noticing a pattern yet?), games, walks, and time to visit.
Needless to say, I have spent the last few weeks feeling very blessed. There is something incredible about knowing you are loved. About being surrounded by the people you love.
To top off our holiday, Jordan and I decided that this last weekend was the most opportune time in the world to finally paint our dining room. Our original plan had been to do it back in October. But that was the weekend my Opa passed away, and so it just kind of kept getting pushed back.
There is something doing the dining room definitely reinforced for me. You see, I'm a bit weird. I prefer quirky, but I know I'm weird. Anyone who knows me can attest to this. I tend to dance to the beat of my own drum. I told my kindergarten teacher I was in the depths of despair and learned to spell "chrysanthemum" by the time I was seven (thank you, Anne Shirley, for so forming my personality). By the time I was twelve I was still trying to sneak into Narnia through closets and wardrobes (this included the coat rooms at my school). If I'm listening to music when I'm running and you were to watch closely, you would notice that I will air drum while running. When I step outside and hear the wind blowing in the trees, I can close my eyes and imagine that I'm in some other world, one where the wind sings and I am able to dance with the trees.
While we were painting the dining room, we had some music playing and Bon Jovi's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" started. For anyone who has ever seen the show Supernatural, there is an scene near the end of season 2 where this song starts to play while the Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean, or in their car. And they sing along. It is perhaps the most epic sing-along ever, and I can't help but think of it and smile. Needless to say, I started singing along (I like to pretend I'm Dean Winchester). My husband, every gracious to his strange wife, willingly and of his own volition did Sam's echo.
A little while later, as we were cleaning up, I overheard my husband putting things away. As I listened, he was tidying in beat with the music. I mentioned this to him the next day and he was a little shocked as he had noticed no such thing. But then he said something to me that I will never forget. He said, "I like how your mind picks up on things like that."
I spent a good chunk of my late teen and early young adult years feeling odd and like I never quite fit in. My closest friends were always those who, like me (though in different ways), tended to see the world through a lens unlike many other people. But I know a lot of other people who would smile and give me a sort of "Aww... she's so cute in a weird sort of way" look. At times this was hard to deal with. I have a crazy imagination and the things my brain picks up on or notices don't make sense to a lot of people.
The way my mind works has also created a lot of discontent. Or maybe less discontent and more longing. I have an imagination that wonders if maybe the next time I turn the bend on the trail I will find myself in another world.
Over Christmas my Dad lent me a book. It's called If I had Lunch with C.S. Lewis. I am about a chapter and a half into it, but the first chapter deals with the idea of finding meaning in life, and what Lewis would have to say about that. The author, Alister McGrath, continually mentions Lewis' view of imagination and the role it plays in our lives. He argues that we have longings and desires that nothing in the world will ever be able to satisfy, and that as Christians this is because we were created for heaven. As Lewis says, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in the world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that I was made for another world."
I think for everyone, no matter how they look at the world, there is always some sort of a sense of longing. No matter how happy and content you are, there is still some part of you that longs for something more.
For me, I really appreciated the reminder that this is because I was created for another world. I want so badly to keep my eyes on God, to be reminded of Him in all that I say and do. And now, whether it's in a dance I see as music plays, in the fun times of singing along to the radio, or in the moments when the wind blows in such a way that I'm convinced it is caressing my face, I want to be reminded of my Creator. Of the One who not only created me with this kind of an imagination, but Who also shares it.
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